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"Yeah, Lex?"

"I was thinking today about that class trip you had, when Earl Jenkins showed up...."

"Uh... what about it?"

"What was Whitney doing there?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he's a senior, right?"

"Right, although now he's skipped out on the end of the year to go join the Marines."

"Wait, Clark... he's joining the Marines BEFORE school is out? You do know that's illegal, right?"

"Uh.. I guess so... what's your point?"

"Well, anyway... you and Pete are Freshmen, right?

"Yeah, you know that. They only do the scarecrow thing to Freshmen."

"Chloe, too?"

"No, they never... um, yeah, I guess."

"You guess? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Uh, well... I never really thought about it. She's in some of my classes, though."

"So, exactly how is it that a possibly-Freshman is editor of the school newspaper?"

"I don't know, no one else wanted to fight Chloe for the job?"

"And why in the world was a Senior along on a mostly-freshman Class Trip to my plant? And, for that matter, why is a plant that employs a mere 500 people supposed to be the main employer in a town of 45,000? I've been trying to figure that one out since I got here...."

"Um, Lex?"

"Yeah, Clark?"

"Do we HAVE to do this NOW?"

"Oh, right, sorry... It just hit me, is all... I mean, if the meteor rocks have been in the town for 12 years, why is it that no one noticed the mutants before now?"


"Right. Sorry. Um, where was I?"

"Lex, look down. Count fingers. If you can't figure it out, then you're not the genius you're supposed to be."

"Mmmm, right. You know, for a supposed Kansas farm boy, you took to this gay sex thing like a mutant to homicide."

"Well, I.. Lex! That's.. ooh! Totally unfair."

"Maybe, Clark, but it's definitely helping to convince me that the time for talking is over."

"Then thank GOD! Oooh, and do THAT again!"

"Your wish is my command.. mmm!"

Title: Parody
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: implied R
Warnings: Slash, underage (15); Read, Drink, Read (keyboards don't love coffee)
Summary: Lex puzzles over the Smallville High educational system.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to my wonderful IM friends who put up with me asking unanswerable questions about our favourite show.

All of the works contained herein are labours of love, unauthorized by those who hold the rights to such things, and no profit is made from them. No harm is meant, and hopefully no offense given.