Clark was awakened seemingly moments later by his father's disgustingly cheerful voice calling him to breakfast.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm awake. I'll be there in a minute, ok?" he responded, sitting up and throwing off the covers. He winced when he saw the come splattered on the blanket. He'd half expected the crusted streaks to be blood instead, and a quiet relief had flooded through him after the initial disgust. He bundled it up and tossed it into a corner, making a mental note to clean it when he had the chance.

He dressed slowly. He'd wash up after breakfast, just to get the stickiness off his belly, but it was no use showering until after they finished the day's chores. He had the suspicion his mother was planning on getting them both as tired and dirty as she could manage.

In fact, it would probably be a good idea to have Lex bring a change of clothes if he wanted to stick around and eat. Clark checked the time as he was coming into the kitchen. 7:15 was probably a little too early to call a man he'd kept up until nearly 2 the night before.

"Mom, is Lex staying for dinner?" Clark asked as he took his place at the table. He tried not to let his father's slight flinch at the name get to him, but he was still feeling raw from the last two days' worth of emotional upheaval. The day seemed grey, despite the golden sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window.

"Well, I suppose we should, since I'll be putting him to work this afternoon. Why do you ask?" She served them all pancakes, eggs and bacon as she spoke, eyeing Clark speculatively.

"I just figured we should warn him to bring a change of clothes, but I don't think he'll be awake yet." Clark belatedly remembered his comment to his mother last night about bringing boys home for dinner. Well, he'd just have to hope she wouldn't misinterpret him.

Martha snorted delicately. "Lex Luthor, up at 7:15 on a Saturday morning? Very doubtful. I'll try and remind you to give him a call around 11 or so, ok?"

Clark grinned at her, as brightly as he could manage. "Thanks, Mom!"

Everyone dug into their food, an uncomfortable silence descending on the table as Jonathan continued to glower. Clark got through his first helping, got himself a second, and decided to try and break the tension. His current mood was almost too much to bear even without this painful awkwardness between them.

"So, Dad. What chores do you have to torment me with this morning? 'Cos you know Mom's got dibs this afternoon for the flower garden."

The words felt forced, stilted, but his father didn't seem to notice, responding absently, "Fence-mending, mostly. You did a lot of the backed-up work yesterday morning. Now, what's this about Lex coming over?"

"Mom roped him into it. I think she wants to teach him what real work is like." Clark grinned, knowing his father would appreciate the sentiment. He felt like his face might crack, crumble. Fall off and reveal the alien underneath.

Jonathan grunted. "Hn. Yes. Some real home cooking might also do the boy some good."

"He's nothing but skin and bones," added Martha. She gave Clark a conspiring look. "And so pale! A little hard work in the sun and a home-cooked meal will be a great start. We should invite him over more often. He needs a good influence in his life, better than that horrible Lionel Luthor. The poor boy's practically abandoned up in that huge castle!"

Clark rolled his eyes surreptitiously. His mom was laying it on awfully thick, but it seemed to be working, a little. His dad unbent, obviously enjoying the vision of Lex as Lionel's neglected child.

"That might not be such a bad idea. Expose the boy to some good farm sense, and put a bit of meat on his bones. Clark needs his friends around him at a time like this."

Clark looked searchingly at his father, then down at his plate. Before, it had always been them he'd needed at times like this. He was developing secrets within secrets, a different set of truths for every occasion. "Lex has been really great about... things. He's going to help me figure out how to tell Pete and Chloe, too."

Jonathan looked uncomfortable, fork pushing the remains of his food around on his plate. "I know I haven't said it, but I really am proud of you, son. I know we didn't react the best when you told us, and you sort of ran off before we could gather our wits, so I just wanted to say..." He paused, waiting for Clark to look up before continuing, "Even though it might take a little getting used to, well... You never were just a normal boy, and this is just one more way that you're different. Special."

Clark glanced over at his mother, surprised. "I... thanks, Dad."

His father got a vaguely embarrassed expression before clearing his throat. He met Clark's eyes and said, "Yes, well. Anyway. Why don't you run upstairs and get ready, and we'll go get started on the fence, ok?"

"Yeah. No problem!" Clark smiled, feeling one piece of his world slowly righting itself. One secret he'd kept to himself for years, one that he'd thought had finally been the straw that broke his parents' love, and all they'd needed was a little time. Clark felt a faint spark of hope threading through him at the thought, and quickly polished off the last of his food and sped upstairs.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Lex showed up promptly at five to twelve, bearing a box of plants for Martha and a package for Clark. He hadn't been at home when Clark called earlier, and it was evident now where he'd been.

"Lex! Hi, how are you?" Clark was a little awkward, unsure of how to greet his friend. He wasn't about to go kissing him right there on the porch, but it wasn't for lack of desire. Clark had had a lot of time to think while he was mending the fence. He'd surprised himself with the realization that his desire for Lex was a lot stronger than he'd been willing to acknowledge.

Clark squirmed, remembering the kisses that had unlocked those feelings. He was starting to think that his old conflicts were nothing compared to this, teenage hormones combining with genuine affection to openly declare war on his fears and self-doubt.

His mother smiled enigmatically and grabbed the box of seedlings. She glanced from Clark to Lex and then walked off towards the back of the house, saying, "I'll just take these to the plot, shall I? You boys come along in a few minutes."

Lex grinned and gave Clark the parcel and a surreptitious peck on the cheek. "I'm doing fine, Clark. You?" he said, then gave a spin worthy of a runway model. "I had to buy new boots, but do I pass muster?"

Clark tried not to openly check out his friend, but it was a little difficult. Lex had taken the 'work clothes' directive to heart and was wearing a pair of tight, worn jeans with a deep blue-violet long-sleeved shirt, and of course the brand-new black work boots. Everything hugged the lithe planes of Lex's body in a way that made Clark's free hand clench and unclench with the desire to touch, explore. Feel.

"Um. Yeah. But, did you get my message?" The person who'd answered the phone at Lex's had seemed to think he'd be home before heading off to Clark's, but had been reluctant to divulge anything else.

"Yes, I brought a change of clothes, and I made sure the cook knew I'd be here for dinner. Oh, and remind me to give you my cel number." Lex's eyes were sparkling with mischief. "You haven't looked at your present."

Clark smiled warily and unwrapped the package. It was a small book called 'Language of Flowers'. Clark looked up, perplexed. Lex laughed.

"So you can understand the implications of your mother's flower garden, which I somehow suspect she already knows."

Clark got a suspicious look. "What did you bring?"

Lex got a very self-satisfied expression as he began to tick off the flowers on his fingers. "Violets, chamomile, pansies, and a lilac bush."

Clark waited expectantly, then asked, "Well? Or are you going to make me look it up."

Lex smirked. "Look it up, of course." He walked off in the direction he'd seen Martha go, leaving Clark behind to open the book in frustration.

Only to find that Lex had not only marked the places for all four flowers, but written a dedication in the front. It read, "To Clark, For all the things you are to me, and everything I can only hope we'll be together. Trust in yourself, and don't be afraid of who you are. Love, Lex."

Love. Lex had written... Clark quickly looked up the first of the flowers. Violets were supposed to symbolize faithfulness. Clark snorted a little as he flipped to chamomile. Energy in adversity. Well, they could certainly use *that*. Pansies were next, this time with a specific message. "I'm thinking of you."

Clark smiled, and flipped to the last one, the flowering lilac bush. "I'm falling in love with you."

Clark's stomach dropped even as his heart soared. He felt rooted to the spot, both in joy and terror. Love. Lex was... He looked up at the clear blue sky, finding a few wispy clouds all that was left of the previous days' rain. All of the leaden greyness seemed to have been swept away, but Clark still felt the storm going on inside himself.

He ran up to the loft and found a good hiding place for the book and its precious message. Maybe Lex was right. Together, they could find a way. Clark had taught himself not to break the china, bend the silverware, or tear his clothing. He'd find a way to love Lex.

But first he'd have to learn to be honest with him.

Clark came around back to find Lex and Martha deep in conversation, their heads bent together as they planned the layout of the garden. He glanced around for any sign of his father, then went up and wrapped his arms around both of them. He planted a huge, sloppy kiss on his mother's cheek, and then another on Lex's, trying to dispel the last of his own pensive mood.

"Getting along, I see. I should warn you, Lex, she has plans to fatten you up. My Dad even said something about working some good farm sense into you. Before you know it, you'll be just another Kent man."

Martha's eyes widened. "Well, I don't know if I'd go *that* far..."

Clark grinned at her. "Oh, I don't know, Mom. I *am* bringing him home for dinner, after all."

Her face softened, but Lex's was puzzled when Clark glanced over at him. "Am I missing something here?" Lex asked.

Clark and his mom laughed, enjoying the shared joke. "I think you've just been given a compliment, Lex." Martha grinned as she moved to put an arm around him, turning their loose embrace into a brief group hug. "Welcome to the family."

She stepped back, and her face grew stern, "But I'll warn you, if you break his heart, I'll not only let Jonathan come after you with his shotgun, I will help him hide the body."

Lex's puzzlement gave way to outright confusion, then joy. "I... Will do, Mrs. - er, Martha. I promise to take good care of your boy."

He looked over at Clark, affection glowing in his face. "Although now I'm wishing I'd brought you more lilacs."

Clark felt that his smile could have eclipsed the sun. He glanced from his mother to Lex and back again, wondering if he dared...

"I'll just go inside and get the rest of my gardening things, shall I?" Clark's mom headed back around the house.

One more quick check to verify his father was nowhere nearby, and Clark carefully drew Lex into his arms, still grinning. Lex's hands buried themselves in his hair, drawing his head down. Their faces were inches apart, and Lex was smiling softly as his eyelids fluttered shut. "You're welcome," Lex murmured softly, just before their lips met.

The kiss was tender, gentle. Yesterday's awkwardness was burned away in the light of today's revelations as Clark felt Lex's strong, soft lips caress his own. Clark flicked his tongue out to taste that tantalizing scar. When Lex answered with a soft moan, Clark couldn't resist tasting the sweet warmth of his friend's mouth -- no, they were something more now; boyfriends, maybe, though certainly not lovers yet. No tang of alcohol this time, just the faintest taste of coffee and mint, and that flavor underneath that he was starting to recognize as Lex.

He slid a hand up Lex's back to gently cup the back of his head, curving it to fit that tantalizing knob where the spine met the skull right into the most sensitive part of his palm. Lex moaned again, and the fingers in Clark's hair clenched as Lex's tongue invaded his mouth, taking him passionately. Just as Clark was starting to feel breathless, Lex pulled away.

"Clark, we... we shouldn't be doing this here."

Clark blushed a little, and grinned sheepishly. Nothing like a few kisses to take his mind off his troubles. "You're probably right..."

Lex gave him a last quick smooch before moving back, and Clark quickly released him. Memory came crashing back into his skull; in that one moment he'd managed to forget all the pain, past and present and possible future, that lay between them. He looked down as he said, "Lex, I... I wanted to... apologize."

"Apologize? For what, Clark?" Lex sounded genuinely puzzled.

"For lying to you. I know it hurt you every time, and I know... with Phelan, and then later, when Eric... when I was normal... I was mean. Really mean, but... it was all fear, Lex. I never meant to hurt you." Clark was studying the brown earth, shifting it around with his toe.

It all came down to this, really, his ability to overcome his fears and control his reflexes, to be honest with Lex and himself. Responsibility like thunderclouds descended on his thoughts, and he could almost hear the first drops of cold rain falling in his head, washing away the fires of quiet joy that Lex had been so carefully building.

Lex laid a hand on his arm, and spoke softly, "I can't say it didn't hurt, but now that I know... well, I can understand. The fact that you're apologizing to me, telling me the truth now... As long as you don't lie to me anymore, I think can forgive you for the lies you thought you had to tell me before."

Lex's voice was sad, his arm dropping away listlessly. Clark peered up him. Lex's eyes were distant, his face nearly unreadable, just a hint of the betrayal he must have felt. Clark's chest tightened painfully, guilt like a lead weight in his stomach, regret like ashes at the back of his throat.

Clark drew Lex into a loose hug, not wanting to force anything. Lex allowed it, resting his head on Clark's shoulder, leaning into the crook of his arm. Clark couldn't find words adequate for the sorrow he felt, so he used the ones that were circling his brain like a broken record. "I'm sorry, Lex."

They stood there like that for a few long moments, and Clark gave into the temptation to drop a soft kiss on top of Lex's head. The skin there was soft, stretched taut over the skull beneath. It reminded him a little of the skin on his cock, and his mind flashed predictably downward, wondering what Lex's cock would feel like. Look like. Taste like. Wondering if he'd ever get to find out, if he'd always find his libido volunteering such thoughts at inappropriate moments.

When they parted, Lex began pointing out to him where his mom wanted the different flowers. Their conversation was muted, but the affection still glowed between them, not so much eclipsing the dark clouds in his head as illuminating them from below. They were standing a polite distance apart, measuring a few of the dimensions, when she returned.

She smiled conspiratorially. "Did you boys get everything worked out?"

Clark felt suddenly tired, the lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion settling over him like a cool sheet, making his words sound thin in the bright afternoon air. "Yeah, Mom. We did. But Lex thinks you should plant a whole row of lilac bushes here to help cut the wind down a little. He suggested you put some of the shadier flowers right up next to them, or some clover."

Martha smiled. "Lilacs and clover, huh?" She eyed the two boys thoughtfully, taking in the scraggly weeds that now graced the future garden site. "Sounds like a plan. Why don't the two of you drive into town and pick some up before you get all dirty? Let's just lay everything else out and so you don't end up having to make two trips, in case we're short."

They arranged the little seedlings and seed packets on the ground, putting stakes in the ground and chatting amiably as they worked. Soon the plot was filled with string and stakes and plastic pots, and Clark had a short list in his head of the things they'd need.

Martha stood up, brushing her hands off. "I think this is good enough. Why don't you two go into town and get the rest of the stuff? I think I'll take Lex's suggestion and go for clover and a row of lilacs -- see if they have any larger bushes, ok?"

Clark was grateful for the reprieve. "Yeah, ok. Thanks, mom. Did you decide what you wanted along that back row yet?"

Martha gave them both a look, and then turned back there. "Well, I was thinking either I get you two to build me a trellis to twine roses on, or I settle for more tulips."

Lex smiled. "I would love to help Clark build you something. May I suggest American Beauty for the right side, and Sterling Silver for the left?"

Martha grinned. "Red and lavender. Interesting choices. How about one of each on each side, so the blossoms intermingle?"

Lex laughed. "Why, Martha, that's practically scandalous. I think it'll be beautiful, once it's grown and blooming."

Martha's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Well, then you'd better get going, because you've got a lot of work ahead of you."

Lex wandered off towards the car, but Clark paused for a moment. "Wow, mom, you're taking this really well."

Martha smiled. "Well, raising you has gotten me used to taking things in stride. And to be honest, despite his father, I can't fault your taste in men, Clark."

Clark was still laughing as he wandered off to find Lex.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Clark took a minute to appreciate the sight of Lex; he'd arranged himself carefully, posing against his car. After a long minute of staring, Clark shook himself and motioned towards the Kents' faded blue pickup, saying, "No Ferrari today, Lex. With this list, we've got to take the truck,"

Lex smiled ruefully. "You're probably right." He sighed and patted his car. "Besides, it'll do me some good to remember how the other half lives."

"More like the other ninety-nine percent, Lex."

Lex chuckled in agreement as he climbed into the truck. They pulled out of the driveway, letting a companionable silence settle over them on the drive into town. Clark concentrated on shifting, trying to keep his attention on the road and not his...

"Lex?" he asked.

"Yeah, Clark?" Lex looked over at him, shifting so his whole body was angled towards Clark, one knee sliding up on the seat. Clark tried not to look at the way the motion pulled the tight jeans even tighter over Lex's crotch.

"Um... What are we?"

"People?"

"No, I mean...areyoumyboyfriend?" Clark could barely get it all out, and he was blushing madly as he stared resolutely at the road.

A sideways glance showed Lex was smiling softly. "Yeah, Clark, I guess I am your boyfriend. It's... kind of nice. Novel, even."

"Novel?"

"Well, it's been a while since I had... someone who I cared enough about to call that. To be exclusive with."

"You... you weren't exclusive with Victoria?"

Lex laughed. "God, no. Not that I've had much opportunity for it either way here in Smallville, but she certainly didn't expect it."

"Oh, ok. I, um, hope it won't be... too hard on you. Waiting, I mean." Clark wasn't sure if Lex had really understood.

"You mean waiting for sex?" Lex was looking at him intently, and Clark almost veered off the road at the leer Lex gave him on the word 'sex'. "No; although it will be another rather novel circumstance, I think my raging libido can be held in check."

Clark grinned a little evilly. "Are you sure? I mean, you're not used to being denied anything. I wouldn't want to catch you trying to seduce the local produce delivery boy.... Oh, wait, that's what you're already doing, isn't it?"

"Well, Clark, I can always just spend my time masturbating like a sailor."

Clark turned bright pink and sputtered a little at remembered images: Lex on the couch, touching himself. Clark in the loft, thinking of Lex watching him. "Y-you m-m-m... do that?"

Lex laughed, and pointed towards the sign up ahead. "We're here."

Clark tried to control his own recalcitrant libido, thinking of the least sexy things he could. Like Lana's lipsticked mouth on his. Or Phelan. Phelan naked. Yeah, that did it all right. He'd have to remember that one, since he had a feeling he'd be needing it in the near future. Despite the success, he untucked his flannel, making sure it hung down over his crotch before getting out of the truck.

He had cause to be grateful for that when Lex sidled up next to him and whispered in Clark's ear, "Of course I masturbate, Clark. How else do you think I've survived knowing you this long?"

Clark prayed that the store owner wouldn't ask about his blush as they went in. Fortunately that worthy was occupied with another customer, one who evidently had a really large order. Clark busied himself with finding all the things on the list; Lex busied himself with making quiet innuendoes at him every chance he got, thus guaranteeing the blush wouldn't fade. After they'd paid and loaded up the truck, Clark drove away with the distinct feeling he'd barely gotten out alive.

The ride home was spent in silence, just the two of them enjoying the feeling of being in one another's company -- no deliveries waiting, no illicit-visit guilt, just a quiet moment alone.

The rest of the afternoon passed swiftly in much the same manner, the two of them working together seamlessly as they tilled the earth, planted the seedlings and bushes, and fertilized and marked everything appropriately.

Clark split his time between staring at Lex's ass in the soft, tight jeans, and short bursts of super-speeding through the manual labor. His mother had elected to go inside and get some housework done while the boys did the dirty work, so he felt free to do both, although he kept one eye peeled for his dad. There was just no way he wanted to explain to Jonathan that he'd not only upgraded Lex from "best friend" to "boyfriend," but also told him at least a part of The Secret.

continued in Out, Chapter 6: Look but Don't Touch